Select one:
A) I like Joe Biden and think he is our strongest candidate if we want to defeat Trump in 2020!
B) I’m not crazy about Biden, but I’d sure as heck vote for him over Trump!
C) I like Buttigieg/Harris/Beto/Gillibrand/Booker/Klobuchar/Hickenlooper/DINO #9-21 the most!
D) I think Sen. Elizabeth Warren is a strong liberal candidate and our best hope for defeating Trump!
E) I like Sen. Warren a lot, but I think Bernie Sanders is our best hope for defeating Trump!
F) Nearly all of the contenders are just as horrifying as Donald Trump — and Elizabeth Warren is an obvious fraud and warmonger — so I’m enthusiastically backing Bernie/Tulsi!
G) Rep. Tulsi Gabbard is the strongest candidate with the best platform, by far, but I would accept her as Bernie’s running mate, if I had to… and Sen. Warren as Secretary of the Treasury or head of the SEC.
Answer key: If you selected (A) or (B) your lobotomy scar has reopened because you won’t stop picking at it with your “Blue No Matter Who” DNC-membership card; if you selected (C) you are a low-grade moron and probably can’t spell Identity Politics, even though you’re extremely susceptible to it; if you selected (D) you’re not a total moron, but an extraordinarily gullible/naive person, with no apparent concern about the anti-Muslim/Arab holocaust that “President” Warren would clearly escalate; if you selected (E) you have precisely half a brain, making you considerably more intelligent than the average American voter (congratulations!); if you selected (F) you’re actually a pretty bright cookie and deserving of several gold stars; and finally, if you selected (G) for Gabbard, you might not be a Genius, technically, but you clearly have an exceptionally high PIQ and a pragmatic mindset, to boot — and you know the surest way to unseat Donald Trump in 2020 (Gabbard/Sanders or Sanders/Gabbard) and pull the U.S. back from the neo-fascism cemented by Bush-Obama… Well done!